BRAHMACHARYA - 15. TO MARRY OR NOT TO MARRY - Sri Swami Sivanda - The Practice of Celibacy - HQ Full Book.

The fifteenth chapter delves into a timeless question faced by spiritual aspirants and laypeople alike: should one marry or embrace celibacy? This chapter does not dismiss either choice outright but instead explores the possibilities, challenges, and implications of each path from a spiritual and philosophical perspective. 

Celibacy in the Midst of the World
The chapter begins by asserting that celibacy is not an unattainable ideal. Despite the temptations and distractions of worldly life, many individuals in history and even today have successfully lived as celibates. The key lies in discipline and spiritual practices that fortify the mind and body against desires. To achieve celibacy, one must lead a disciplined life, nourished by a Sattvic diet and supported by spiritual pursuits such as:

• Study of Scriptures: Regular engagement with holy texts reinforces the mind’s focus on higher ideals.
• Satsang (Good Company): Associating with pure and spiritually inclined people fosters a positive influence.
• Mantra and Meditation: Practices like Japa (mantra repetition) and Dhyana (meditation) cultivate inner strength and clarity.
• Pranayama (Breath Control): This ancient practice regulates the mind and energy.
• Self-Discipline: Following Yama (restraints) and Niyama (observances) outlined in yoga ensures moral and ethical integrity.
• Self-Reflection: Introspection, self-analysis, and correction keep one aligned with spiritual goals.

Those who fail to follow such a disciplined life often struggle with unfulfilled desires, leading to suffering. The chapter analogizes this self-created plight to that of an elephant throwing sand on its own head, a metaphor for how one’s foolish choices result in unnecessary troubles.

The Benefits of Celibacy
The author debunks the misconception that celibacy leads to mental or physical fatigue. Instead, it is argued that the perception of fatigue is often a mental illusion, much like a false sense of hunger. Celibacy, far from being harmful, is shown to:

• Conserve Energy: Sexual abstinence helps conserve vital energy that strengthens the body and mind.
• Augment Mental Faculties: It improves memory, willpower, and intellectual clarity.
• Enhance Vitality: Practicing celibacy revitalizes the body, boosts immunity, and restores overall health.
• Bring Inner Peace: The restraint allows one to experience spiritual tranquility and bliss.

Moreover, the chapter posits that celibacy bestows divine powers and extraordinary strength, enabling individuals to perform feats of great endurance and achieve spiritual realization.

Critiquing the Epicurean Philosophy
The text directly challenges the arguments of those who advocate unrestrained indulgence in sensual pleasures, often termed as the "Epicurean philosophy." Critics of celibacy argue that passions should not be checked, as they are natural and necessary for procreation and societal continuation. However, the chapter refutes this with several counterpoints:

1. Misinterpretation of Nature: Just as a fish swims against the current, human beings must rise above base instincts to achieve spiritual heights.
2. Illusion of Happiness: The happiness derived from sensual pleasures is fleeting, accompanied by dangers, fear, and eventual dissatisfaction.
3. Worldly Attachments: The chapter reminds readers of the transient and illusory nature of worldly possessions and relationships, which cannot offer lasting fulfillment.

The Epicurean lifestyle, rooted in indulgence, is labeled as a delusion that leads to suffering and prevents the realization of eternal bliss.

Marriage as a Choice
Marriage is neither dismissed outright nor glorified unconditionally. The text recognizes it as a practical institution for the majority who struggle to control their passions. For these individuals, marriage serves as a stabilizing force, ensuring moral restraint and societal order. However, it is emphasized that marriage should not be seen as a license for unbridled indulgence but as a sacrament that fosters responsibility and growth. At the same time, the author critiques societal pressures that force individuals into marriage against their will or spiritual inclinations. Many aspirants with a genuine longing for higher spiritual pursuits are pushed into marriage due to family expectations, leading to frustration and regret. 

Love and its Illusions
A critical analysis of love between spouses reveals its often selfish and ephemeral nature. The text argues that:

• Love in marriage is frequently conditional, tied to physical attraction or personal benefit.
• When beauty fades or hardships arise, affection often diminishes, exposing the superficiality of such relationships.
• True love, by contrast, is selfless, unchanging, and rooted in the recognition of the divine essence (Atman) within each individual.

The chapter vividly illustrates the pitfalls of carnal love, describing it as an animal instinct that binds individuals to a cycle of attachment and suffering.

Celibacy as the Superior Path
For those seeking spiritual growth, celibacy is portrayed as the more direct and effective path. It avoids the distractions and entanglements of married life, allowing one to focus entirely on self-realization. The text highlights the lives of great spiritual leaders like Adi Shankaracharya, who embraced celibacy and achieved profound spiritual milestones. However, it acknowledges that not everyone is suited for this path. Marriage, when approached with sincerity and balance, can also lead to spiritual progress, as demonstrated by figures like Saint Tukaram. 

Guidance for Aspirants
The chapter concludes with practical advice for those grappling with the decision to marry or remain celibate:

• Assess Your Inclinations: Only those with strong spiritual aspirations and self-discipline should choose celibacy.
• Avoid Self-Deception: Do not marry with the false hope of maintaining celibacy afterward, as worldly attachments are likely to erode such resolve.
• Pursue Higher Goals: Remember the ultimate purpose of human life is not sensual gratification but self-realization and union with the divine.

Final Reflections
"To Marry or Not to Marry" is not just a discussion about lifestyle choices but a profound exploration of human desires, spiritual aspirations, and the paths available to reconcile the two. It invites readers to reflect deeply on their goals and choose a path aligned with their true nature and higher purpose. Whether through marriage or celibacy, the ultimate aim remains the same: to transcend worldly illusions and realize the eternal bliss of the self.

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