Confused About "Clowning" and "Soft-Clowning?" You're Not Alone

14 de may. de 2024 · 3m 36s
Confused About "Clowning" and "Soft-Clowning?" You're Not Alone
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Hey lovers! So much has changed in the field of human romantic relationships since I last wrote. Yes, it's only been a week, but we've got lots of new ground...

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Hey lovers! So much has changed in the field of human romantic relationships since I last wrote. Yes, it's only been a week, but we've got lots of new ground to cover. It's hard to imagine that relationship experts in the biblical era thought when butt-play was discovered in the ancient cities of Sodom and Gomorrah that we'd crossed the final threshold. Boy, were they wrong. Let's dive into the latest. Key trends to know: #1 - Clowning Believed to have emerged from a disbanded circus troupe residing in the Phoenix metropolitan area, clowning refers to a practice of having sex in full clown costume. That's right, folks! Wigs, makeup, too-large shoes, the full regalia, with, of course, some strategic holes cut into the striped bodysuit. I spoke to my colleague in the field, Dr. Sheila Garrond, a researcher in the study of character sex, about what makes this practice diverge from other costumed groups. First, she seemed hesitant to answer. "I told you I'm an anthropologist," Dr. Garrond said, but I pressed for more details. "Can you stop asking me these weird clown sex questions?" she added. Asked if it might be fair to say that clowning represents a new form of expression and the broad spectrum of creativity she said, "Huh. Lose this number." That left me to investigate this long-misunderstood community on my own. Turns out many famous clowns throughout the ages have been wrongly maligned. Pennywise was not an evil gutter monster, merely a man hiding his clowning practice from a conservative wife. Bozo the clown could not be reached for comment before publication. John Wayne Gacy, well, we don't have to get into that one. #2 - Soft-clowning One of the most beautiful aspects of the clowning community is its open-minded approach to different degrees of expression. Soft-clowning refers to clowns who skip the complete outfit in favor of simpler get-ups: only a sponge nose, say, or partial clown makeup, to prevent mess. When I found a clown on the streets of Winnetka, I knew I had to ask him about this. "Sometimes, I do forget to take my socks off," Giggles said, asking to be referred to by his middle name. I told him that was a really courageous choice, and thanked him for being so brave and sharing about his sexuality. Then he said, "what's this?" a pulled a really long chain of tied-together G-strings' out of my ear. Human expression never ceases to amaze. #3 - Solo non-clown play With the rise of the clowning community, more and more individuals are choosing to describe themselves in relation to it. Naturally, some individuals find the term "masturbation," outdated and old-fashioned, and prefer to use "solo non-clown play" instead. "To me, it's not the same thing," said RonaldaMcDonalda69, a popular digital content creator on OnlyFans. "I often hardcore-clown, so even when I'm not clowning, I'm still a clown." Does our society do enough to support clowns? "No," Ronalda said. "Clown cars and circus tents, these gathering places serve an important role in our community: hosting orgies. And unfortunately they are threatened by anti-circus legislation, shifting tastes and gentrification." When it comes to love and relationships, who doesn't sometimes feel like a clown? Thanks to everyone in this colorful community who bravely shared their sex-themed gimmicks with me in the course of my research, like the lube-squirting flowers many clowns wear conveniently on their lapels. That's all for this week. Remember to practice safe clowning, and thank you for mailing me all these beautiful balloon animals made out of condoms. XOXO The Relationship Expert
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Autor Weekly Humorist
Organización Weekly Humorist
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