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We are three months into 2019 and I hope that everyone is still holding down their goals and sticking to things you set out to accomplish this year. But if not, don’t worry you still have nine months to make it happen. So, make it happen! On today’s podcast we are going to call out some simple, but culprits that are very successful at killing dreams. I’ve been gone for awhile so lets not waste any more time. Let’s dive right in.

The first dream killer that I want to bring our attention to is very common, but it can also disguise itself in many forms and sometimes we don’t recognize it immediately when it shows up. This dream killer’s name is DISTRACTION! It’s so easy to fall prey to distractions in the age that we live in because we have more technology today and more access to the world than any other generation that has ever lived on the planet. Not only do we have social media, Netflix, amazon, work, and other things that takes our focus away, but we are also a society that is constantly evolving and growing. And there are so many things and people vying for our attention it can be challenging to focus on just one thing more or less our dreams. Leadership and Personal Mastery specialist Robin Sharma says, “your life is too important to give it to distractions.” Think about it, when is the last time you were able to go somewhere and be alone with your thoughts for a day or even a couple of hours. How many of us can sit in a room for an hour without grabbing at our phone every minute to check emails, text messages or social media? I remember growing up, when it would rain, my mom was the type that would shut everything off if it was thundering and lightening. We would open the door lay on the floor and just listen to the rain as a family. No lights, no TV, no AC and yes it was hot! But we were together and created bonds and memories with each other that cannot be broken to this day. Today, quiet time and alone time has become non-existent. It’s like we are too afraid to sit in peace and quiet because we are afraid of what may come up. Past hurts that we’ve tried for years to ignore, past demons that we never dealt with. Actually having to deal with our insecurities and the areas that we fill we are lacking in, all of these things can be quite scary to face. So, our way of dealing with it is to keep ourselves preoccupied. We like to believe that being busy is synonymous with being productive. But I guarantee if we reevaluate our schedules we would find that there are several things that can be cut out that we wouldn’t even miss. Or if we miss them it would be a short term withdrawal. Play-writer and Director Lorraine Hansberry was quoted as saying, “Never be afraid to sit awhile and think.” Some people’s schedule is their greatest distractor.

We need to ask ourselves:

What do I really need to do?
What do I need to let others do? (and)
What doesn’t need to be done at all?

Distractions also come in the form of people. Some of our so called friends are nothing more than distractions. If we are honest with ourselves we would see half the people that we call friends are not even people that truly want to see us succeed. Many of them are people hanging around waiting to see what’s going to happen. Some of them are spy’s for our enemies and others are just place holders for when we want someone to hang out with. If we are real with ourselves we can admit that true friends challenge us.

Here’s how you can tell is a person is a true friend:



They require us to rise to a certain level.
They demand that we give our best to our dreams.
They encourage and uplift us.
They are not constantly running back telling us what negative things people say about us.
Real friends are not trying to compete with us.
True friends tell us the truth even though it maybe hard to hear and they tell us the truth in love.

You can clearly tell when a person is telling you something to help you verses hurt you. All the time it's not an easy pill to swallow. When you first hear them say it, even if its in love, it may rub you the wrong way, but be man and woman enough to give yourself time to process what they said and examine it for yourself. Because more often than not what they are telling you is the truth and a truth that you have tried to ignore. True friends would rather hurt your feelings in love than see you go out and make a fool of yourself. But a lot of us don’t want people around us that’s going to tell us the truth. We want an amen corners. If everyone in your circle agrees with you all the time and you never hear no or maybe you should rethink that idea then you need to upgrade your circle.

Prime example, Robert Kelly, if you listen to interviews from people that have been around him many of them said the same things. He had a lot of “yes” people around him. People that would do whatever we wanted when he wanted. He didn’t have a lot of objective voices providing him with sound advice and look where that got him. If you don’t know what’s going on with him, google it there’s a ton of info available. A quote by an unknown person says, “if you lose a friend because you are honest [they were’nt] a good friend.” There’s no better time than today to get rid of the people that are not pushing you towards your dreams and your future. 2019 is the year we decide to be better and for many of us that starts with not returning some phone calls and text messages, blocking some people on social media, and completely disappearing from some folks. I’m not a fan of ghosting people, some people are not worth a goodbye conversation. Some people you can disappear on and they would never know. It’s okay to being okay letting people go that are not good for you.

Another dream killer that we encounter is DISBELIEF & UNBELIEF in ourselves. I cannot tell you the number of people that I have talked to and spent time with that have a wealth of wisdom, knowledge and great ideas that they are just sitting on. I mean people that could write books that would land on the “Times Best Seller” list, but they don’t believe that it is possible or they don’t value what they have, so they don’t pursue it. They wave their knowledge and insight off thinking, “aw its nothing, I am sure everyone knows that.” But you would be surprise the things people do not know. Just because something comes easy to you or an idea seems minuscule to you, that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be something that would change other peoples lives. We don’t believe that we have anything to offer the world. We don’t believe we can actually be successful. We don’t think anyone needs what we have. Think about this, what if Maya Angelo thought the same way. What if Serena Williams shrunk back in her sister’s Venus shadow and thought, “She’s already great at tennis, surely I cant be good at it too.” What if Rihanna decided that since there are a million and one makeup companies out there why create another one? What if Cardi B didn’t believe in herself and decided not to give music a try?

Like, seriously, we will never know the potential difference we could make, and the success we could have if we never try. What is that thing that you know like the back of your hand, what’s that advice that everyone always comes to you about? What are you great at? You don’t have to have all the answers on how to start and what to do in the beginning. As you begin to pursue your dreams, you will find that the answers will come to you. I wrote a quote a while ago that says, “If you don’t give yourself a chance, it will never be your time.” I know a lot of us are wondering when our time is coming. When will the stars align in my favor? Will the universe ever make my dreams a reality? My question to you is, are you giving yourself a chance? Do you believe in you? Do you believe in your abilities? Are you dismissing what you are good at? Novelist Alice Walker says, "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any.” That starts with you valuing what you have enough to believe in yourself. You will never be able to sell a product to anyone until you first believe in it.

In 2016, I wrote this affirmation and I have reincorporated in my life in 2019. It says,

I life a lifestyle that is sustainable.
All of my dreams are attainable.
I keep my focus on Christ who leads and guides me so my mistakes are minimal.
I cherish every moment of my life the good, bad, and ugly.
Everyday I am alive gives me an opportunity to become a better person.
I will not reduce my standards to fit someone else’s plans. I stand firm on my beliefs, therefore, I live a life free of guilt and shame and filled with heavenly promises.
My path is sure, my confidence is contagious and I never lose.
I use mistakes to show me better methods to accomplish my goals.

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Music by: silencekills