When I began my journey of being a daily writer in July of 1994 I had no clue as to where I was growing or how important these stained pages would be to a future self I had not met yet. Nothing disappoints the human spirit more than not living up to what you dreamed. Is there ever a day when you don't feel like you failed yourself? On this podcast I'm reading from November of 2016. Not just any day but one that a future self obviously went back to because on the side of the daily writing, with a completely different writing instrument its written that nothing ever came of this it was just me being scared. That's why I love daily writing. It's not about being into yourself or thinking all methods of madness need to be documented. It's a journey. The opportunity to participate with moments that seem like they're going in every direction and yet they seem to connect. Upon arriving on this one particular day in November of 2016 I couldn't locate any evidence of there being a reason to fear. I can see why the future self on a different day coming back and penning out what he did. Nothing ever came of this. Wouldn't it be nice if we could do that with a lot of our stress filled moments? I know what I feeling but my future self says there's no reason to worry! After studying the entry three to four times I did take note of a deeper thought that could easily be written off. The writer in 2016 was bothered by the actions of those who talk a lot about being grateful but outside of the initial conversation there's no evidence of gratefulness attached to their presence. Gratefulness is a word that's tossed out there so much that when my big ole southern church preacher man uses it I don't believe him. It's that go to open space of expression. Oh I'm grateful. I'm grateful. Are you really? Share with me why, how and more importantly how you expect to use it. To activate it. You're not supposed to hold onto gratefulness. It's supposed to move through you. The writer in me. That day in November of 2016. 5:26 am is what the clock read. There he sat caught up in a moment of fear due to a thought fed by the ambitions of others claiming to be grateful but don't live it. It's a tough place to be. Grateful doesn't mean holy. Grateful doesn't require a monthly subscription. It's being aware of your present place of now. I'm writing this at 6:17 am with extremely soft meditation music playing through my smart phone. My doves are singing in the other room while Jazzie the wonder dog is sleeping next to me in the recording studio. The sun isn't up therefore the darkness outside the recording studio windows is empowering to the rising imagination. Grateful Taking note of your moment of now. Embracing all that is and participating with whats about to become.