EPSIODE WITH GILBERT SAENZ: NEW POETRY BOOK TITLED: Spiritually Reincarnated

My book is called “Spiritually Reincarnated" and it is a 3 poem set. Part 1 I wrote before I found God, Part 2 I wrote when I found him and part 3 I question my spirituality.

The Testimony of Gilbert Saenz:

I would love to share with you the day that I found Jesus Christ because it is truly the happiest day of my life. I hit my rock bottom and wanted to give up on my life because I was filled with pain. Before I met Christ, my life was miserable and I even tried to end my own life a few times. I abused substances and engaged in many despicable behaviors that I am not proud of. This was the only way that I knew how to escape from my own living hell.
I remember one day when I reached my bottom, I couldn’t take the pain anymore. I went to the church to be alone and pray in the main worship room where services were held. This was on a weekday in the afternoon so it was empty. I remember being in so much pain wishing my life would end. I felt a tap on the shoulder and it was Pastor Randy.
I can remember him talking to me in such a soft and gentle voice. When he looked in my eyes it was as if he could see my suffering. He prayed for me and I began to feel better, it was soothing and relaxing. We talked and he asked me if I would accept Christ in my life. At first I was reluctant and did not want to give him an answer. We talked some more and he prayed for me again and finally I accepted Christ. This planted the seeds for me because soon afterwards, I still went through some tough times and was lost in my spirituality once again.
It was a few months later that I got a summer camp job working at a Christian based organization for abused and special need kids. If I never would have accepted Christ the first time, I would have never been able to take that job. Working with those kids and the patience that I developed helped me grow spiritually. It was if I could see the Holy Spirit in all of the kids and they really liked me there. The parents loved me as too, I even received Christmas cards from some of the most difficult kids to deal with.
Even after that experience, I was still going through some tough times and did not really grasp the concept of Christ. I still struggled with my spirituality as I just questioned everything. One day I was coming out of a deep alcohol based depression when I called a friend of mine from camp that had a really strong faith in Christ. He talked to me over the phone and explained to me about the concept of Christ and that God loved us so much he sent his son to die for us. Something at that moment just clicked, till this day I still don’t know what it was. I was finally ready to totally accept Christ and put my trust in him.
I was in Miami at the time and was staying at my sister’s house. I remember standing in her patio as if I had truly been touched by the Holy Spirit. We began to pray by saying these magical words. Dear God, I totally accept Jesus Christ as my savior and I trust my life with him. I thank you for sending him down to die for me and I take my sins and leave them on the cross with him. Right at that moment a sense of calmness came to me, I just suddenly realized that everything was going to be okay. Before than I had so much trouble sleeping and that night I slept on a small couch very comfortably the entire night.
The miracle continued on to the next day as I was driving home. When I first step foot outside, it was like I was walking into a new world. Everything was brighter and had beautiful colors to it. The grass was greener, the sky was bright blue, the birds sang louder and everything was just so beautiful. I used to hate driving back but I actually enjoyed the ride home because everything looked so beautiful to me.
I can’t explain the love that I felt, I actually felt the love of God and I never felt it before. It was if Jesus was sitting right next to me in the car and I just felt so loved. I experienced a peace that I never felt before in my life. It was at that moment that I realized that everything was going to be alright. I came to an understanding that Christ was there suffering with me all this time and I wasn’t alone. I had always felt so lonely and desolate my entire life but now I felt love and how it made me feel I can’t put into words.
I felt God’s love and it was so strong, I went from feeling down to instantly revived. This was the best feeling in the world when I stopped fighting it and just gave in and accepted him. I felt like a 1000 pounds had been lifted off my back and that Jesus was right next to me just loving me for who I am. I finally felt accepted and a part of something special. Words cannot explain how his love made me feel, I never felt something so strong and wonderful in my entire life. This truly was the best day of my life.
Since that day, I was able to attend more Christian summer camps and was invited to Alabama and taught the true message of Christianity. The lessons that I was taught in Alabama would remain with me for the rest of my life. Science could never provide me with what I received from Christ. I hung on to my bible and was so hungry to learn everything that I can. I learned the true meaning of fellowship and how it felt to be accepted unconditionally. I would later attend another camp in Arizona and along my way establish a Christian based network with people that I truly feel connected too.
Soon afterwards, I graduated with my bachelor’s degree in psychology at the University of Central Florida. Not long afterwards, I recently earned my Master’s degree in Mental Health Counseling and I worked as an intern helping substance abuse client’s that have been released from jail. Most of our client’s are military veterans but we also accept drug court clients. I do everything there from conducting bio-psychosocial exams in which I diagnose client to individual and group psych-educational sessions on a weekly basis.
I depend on my faith and the love of Christ is what keeps me going because I have a very stressful job. I see about 15 clients a week and some are severely depressed or anxious and they come straight from jail from all types of crimes including murder. It is only through Christ that I am able to be openly objective and not judge my clients. I put my faith in him to get me through and it works every time. I finally realize through Christ that my life has a purpose and all of my suffering was for a reason. I am able to accept my past and move forward through him.
I also recently will start be conducting group psycho-educational sessions in the jail. This is a recent development but I trust in Christ that this is the right thing for me. I will be doing a few groups every week to inmates both low and high level security risk. I also most recently publishing a book that I wrote about my suffering basically in poem forms that deal with all types of subjects from love, getting my heart broken, to suicide. There was a point in my life where I didn’t want to go on living and I put that pain down on paper to share with my audience.
My book is called “Spiritually Reincarnated and it is a 3 poem set. Part 1 I wrote before I found God, Part 2 I wrote when I found him and part 3 I question my spirituality. I also include my psychology theory as well and some of my ideas. My book is a combination of spirituality, philosophy and science/psychology. I put everything in this book including all of my pain and suffering. The main purpose of my book is to get my message across that if your living in a hell right now and don’t have the will to keep on, hang in there because it gets better. If I was able to rise out of my own hell, than so can you. I want to continue to help my fellow man even when I pass on and I plan to do it through my book.
Thanks for listening to me and that is my testimony, Pastor Randy planted the seed. If I never would have gone to the church that one day, I don’t know what would have happened. I probably would have never accepted the job at the summer camp in Texas and probably wouldn’t be here right now sharing this with you. It was as if a chain reaction of different events happened in my life. One thing led to another and things just progressed from there. I was so science based and resistant to religion that I was being stubborn. It was only when I gave in and truly accepted the gift that Christ had to offer, is the day my life changed for the better.