Aging for men and women can be a drastically different experience. While men are often more highly valued with age for resources, women tend to be valued more for physical beauty that fades with time. How do you reconcile with the inevitability of physical changes from aging and the desire to have your partner always find you attractive? Long-term relationships are so much more than physical beauty, but there is a level of self-confidence and pride you take in how you look and how you feel for yourself and your partner. As looks fade and your confidence shifts, can you look at each other and be just as attracted as when you were 20 something? In this episode Tom and Lisa discuss commitment over attraction and how focusing on a shared experience, enjoying the phases of life is what’s working after 19 years of marriage.     SHOW NOTES:   Inverse Attraction | Loving each phase of the relationship as physical attraction changes [0:28] Commitment | Tom on being anchored to a shared experience of life with Lisa [1:32] Attracted to Others | Why commitment trumps attraction and being an antifragile partner [3:03] Enjoy Phases | Lisa’s tip to enjoy every phase for what it is and and work on self-esteem [5:48]   QUOTES: “So we are together because we're sharing a life and I believe to the core of my existence.” Tom Bilyeu [2:35]   “enjoy it for what it is instead of like, always mourning what the last phase, like really enjoy it.” Lisa Bilyeu [6:21]