Go to https://www.radicalconfidence.com to get your copy of my book Radical Confidence! When you do, you’ll be getting a toolkit of 10 No-BS lessons on becoming the hero of your own life - and you’ll learn how to set better boundaries, live a life that lights you up, and give you the ability to boldly stare down ANY frikin’ thing that gets between you and the things you want from life!

Once upon a time someone started telling stories about falling in love, being swept off your feet and feeling butterflies in your stomach was a sign this person must be the one. How many of you have honestly deceived yourself trusting those butterflies? What if we told you, those butterflies didn’t mean love and connection, but they are actually a red flag to pay attention to?

Looking for physical and chemical attraction from kiss and the smell of your date may be more reliable than trusting butterflies, but relationship expert and sex guru, Dr. Laura Berman is revealing exactly why you have to practice being self-aware first so you can be more careful of the traps we’re putting ourselves into.

This is the episode you’ve been waiting for. It’s time to sit with yourself and think about how you can start opening the door to the basement of shame. Being clear about what you want is only possible when you’ve taken the time to know yourself and understand why the relationships you thought were great end up feeling like familiar anxiety, distrust, and old trauma wounds.

“The pain of being in the relationship has to be greater than your fear of leaving it, or you’re not going to leave.” Dr. Laura Berman

Healthy relationships, healthy boundaries, self-love, and healing are goals worth pursuing for the radically confident woman.

SHOW NOTES:

0:00 | Introduction to Dr Laura Berman
0:22 | Feeling Butterflies Is A Warning 2.15
9:07 | Why Your Stuck & Not Moving On
14:56 | The Gifts & Strategies of Your Shame
20:08 | What Feeling Are You After?
29:44 | Frequency of Painful Relationships
38:57 | The Sex Romance Stale Mate
49:30 | Sexual Exploration and Connection

QUOTES:

“More often than not, when we feel like we’ve known someone in that way, [...] ‘He feels so familiar to me, or she feels like I’ve known her my whole life’, that’s because they are embodying your wounds.” [0:50]

“We fall in lust at first sight, we don’t fall in love. We fall in love at first insight, and it feels like peace.” [1:23]

“What we’re taught to do in this society is to work around our gut, not listen to it.” [8:57]

“Anytime you’re stuck in resistance and not being able to get over someone, it’s rarely about them.” [10:03]

“Once it’s exposed to the light, shame almost always evaporates.” [14:03]

“All of these wounds and the way that we respond to them is how we survive our childhood, and they all have gifts.” [19:00]

“Look for those opportunities just to be in the energy of those feelings you most want to feel as much as possible.” [24:43]

“Any boundary you don’t set is out of fear: fear of consequences, fear of abandonment, fear of judgment.” [36:51]

“Most women in a long term relationship, [...] don’t have a ton of spontaneous horniness. They are inspired to be sexual…” [41:09]

“Women are like a slow-burning stove, men are like a microwave oven.” [43:27]

“She doesn’t understand that her not being sexually available for a man that has a healthy libido is like him being unwilling to ask you about your day or hold your hand.” [45:57]

“You have to practice, you have to really get into the experience through self-stimulation, and self-reverence and self-exploration, of really claiming your own sexual experience for, by and with yourself.” [50:44]

Follow Dr. Laura Berman:
Website: https://drlauraberman.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFNORC0Pa42loixEayYryTA
Podcast: https://drlauraberman.com/lb_podcast/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrLauraBerman
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drlauraberman/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrLauraBermanOfficial/