It’s been a while since we did an episode with such cartoonish levels of bloodshed and awful behaviour. No joke. This is next level inhumane nonsense here, folks.

On today’s episode: We’ll see what happens to the body after spinning around an ocean-going paddle wheel, we’ll see how much woman and children were worth in a disaster before the 1900s, and you’ll find out how bizarre it feels to be stabbed while presumedly waiting to sexually assault drowning victims.

And if you were listening on Patreon, you’d also learn how not to become a scurvy-riddled corpse, you’ll hear about the drunk driving death of the most isolated tree on Earth, we’ll see how many maggots or worms it would take to press into a porterhouse steak, we’ll discuss the worst, most blood-soaked maritime shipboard punishments, and we’ll even cover the tragicomic clown show that was the Costa Concordia crash of 2005.

I’ve said more than a thing or two here that might give you pause - but let me also tell you, by the time this thing is done, there’s gonna be a parade! Also, I shout out a bunch of new Patreon supporters, but I want to remind you all that there is more than enough room in my heart for all of you. I love and appreciate you all. Enjoy!


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If you are a regular listener, consider becoming a supporter. It would really help fulfill my dream of doing this full time. If you and a few thousand of your friends could spare a buck or two, you would really help keep the show alive. I think getting episodes a little early with no sponsor interruptions and with additional, ridiculously interesting material in each new episode is worth it.

If you agree, you can find out more at patreon.com/funeralkazoo

You can also buy me a coffee at www.buymeacoffee.com/doomsday