Lean into Discomfort
This episode Cary Kolat and Matt Dernlan discuss Ch. 7 “Stand Up to the Bullies” from the book Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life…And Maybe the World by Admiral William H. McRaven. This chapter goes over standing up and overcoming adversity. Not only reacting and learning from tough situations but really leaning into discomfort in order to grow. Kolat says, if you want to get stronger you lift weights and the only way to improve is to put more weight on the bar. Once that new number becomes easy you have to put more weight on. The same process applies to wrestling. In order to get comfortable in a wrestling position, you have to put yourself in it enough times until you harness the technique and understand what to do enough to be comfortable there. Then you move on to the next area you’re not comfortable in.

Seek out the Bully (3:00)
Dernlan and Kolat talk about the idea of bullying yourself and creating bully situations. What they mean by this is pushing yourself to and past your conceived limits. Not allowing yourself to settle for mediocracy and ultimately achieving the goal you’re working toward. Admiral McRaven talks about during training they would swim in shark-infested waters. It’s a real-life scenario of literally seeking out and swimming with the sharks (your fears or bullies), not backing down, and overcoming. Kolat talks about the teaching moment for parents when your child is bullied. Bullying is a fact of life that is as old as time but it’s also an opportunity to learn, improve, and get stronger. The life lesson you’re teaching is the power in standing up for yourself. Overcoming bullies is something people deal with their whole lives and learning early on how to handle them is important.

Getting Bullied on the Mat (10:55)
Kolat uses his experience at a recent event as an example. A friend’s son was being bullied on the mat. Kolat’s advice for him was that part of wrestling is not allowing that to happen. When it does you come back and show your opponent you won’t allow it and return the favor. A part of wrestling is not only physically but also mentally dominating your opponent. Going through these tough matches is how you get stronger and learn how to not let it happen again.

Be an Overcomer (15:00)
Just as there are physical bullies there are metaphysical bullies surrounding us every day. The more we lean into the discomfort in them and learn to overcome the better we’ll become as people. Do Dernlan and Kolat approve of bullying? No. What they do approve of is standing up and the learning from those situations. They will ascend you to greatness.