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Matthew Hussey is a great relationship expert with solid advice. “How a person is making you feel is more important than how you feel about them,” is just one tiny piece of his advice that will surely challenge the perspective you have of your current and former relationships. It’s not easy putting yourself out there, being vulnerable and open to the possibilities of a new relationship when you're barely navigating the signs of how into you this person is, and what to do with the off comment he or she made over dinner you didn’t like.

Matthew rejoins Lisa with no shortage of knowledge. If you’ve been stuck trying to figure out if you’re in love or in lust with your current partner, this episode will help open your eyes and consider angels of your relationship you haven’t considered.

SHOW NOTES:

Love or Lust | Examining the differences between the two and if love at first sight it real [0:40]
Defining Love | Knowing what love means to not be victim of being lavished with attention [5:23]
Be Intentional | Matthew shares how to be intentional and communicate what you want [12:01]
Value Consistency | How love values consistency but it needs to be communicated [16:26]
Bedazzled | Matthew exposes truth on why average days matter more than 5% dazzling [19:33]
How He Makes You Feel | Why how he makes you feel is the reality of the relationship [24:28]
He’s Not All Bad | How someone can be bad for you and not inherently bad as a person [28:10]
Different Person | The person you break up with isn’t the same person you started dating [33:03]
Address Issues | Ignoring issues becomes inevitable problems, confront the hard topics [37:45]
Trust Yourself | Ways to take comfort in trusting yourself even if you’ve been wronged [48:10]
Putting Yourself Out There | Matthew shares 2 easy steps to putting yourself out there [55:36]
Breaking Beliefs | Secret to breaking existing beliefs that keeps you from happiness [1:00:00]
Run Experiments | Trying new things in similar dating situations can help you evolve [1:06:08]
Be Humble | Matthew exposes how humility is needed to see how wrong you are [1:11:50]

QUOTES:

“Attention is not the same as intention. You could give me lots of attention, but have no real intention behind it. There might be no intention for this thing to go anywhere.” [4:38]

“It's very easy to value intensity, when we have it, especially because it plays to some kind of love story or an idea of a love story we've had in our head…” [7:42]

“A longtime partner is someone we have to be able to live with, not be dazzled by.” [21:27]

“If you're chasing Bad Boys, you're always chasing someone in a phase. You're chasing someone who's in that period of their life, but they won't do that to someone else down the line.” [23:28]

“I had convinced myself that the bad times weren't indicative of who he was, and the good times were” Lisa Bilyeu [25:04]

“You have to be able to separate how you feel about someone from how someone makes you feel.” [25:33]

“Because the reality for you, if somebody is bad, it doesn't make them evil. It just makes the reality for you bad.” [30:19]

“They're not the devil. They're a complex person, but I care enough about me to protect myself from the inevitable consequences of having a relationship with that person.” [32:21]

“A lot of the time relationships end the way they began just with you paying more attention.”[36:46]

“The moment we start ignoring things, the moment we start going, ‘I'll just hope that goes away,’ that's when we set the timer.” [39:18]

“Someone may have done something that was wrong, and in that sense, we are a victim to someone else's actions. But at a certain point in our journey, we have to also realize that we've been a victim of ourselves.” [48:10]

“When we trust our ability to pay attention and to act accordingly. If someone isn't making us happy, regardless of how strong we feel for somebody, we don't fear the things they do as much” [50:32]

“In life, you can't make an impact without being vulnerable.” [54:53]

“If I get vulnerable and I get a bad response to my vulnerability, then I'm learning I'm actually learning something new.” [1:05:13]


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