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Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups

  • Stop The Cycle of Bpd's Using You As An Atm and a Vending Machine

    18 MAY. 2024 · Stop The Cycle of Bpd's Using You As An Atm and a Vending Machine In Relationship Recycling Are you someone still in a relationship or in the on/off BPD Breakup relationship recycling with a person with (especially untreated) BPD? You are likely someone with Codependency. Codependents - BPD Ex's or partners and Ex-on/off partners of Borderlines are BPD ATM & vending machines on empty as each cycle rollercoaster ride takes more and more from you, depleting you as you continue to lose yourself more and more. You can't make the relationships work - fantasy bonded relationship impossibility. https://ajmahari.ca/sessions 
    17m 42s
  • Losing Yourself Trying To Nurture and Aid a Borderline?

    6 MAY. 2024 · Losing Yourself Trying to Nurture and Aid a Borderline? In a response to a Codependent commenter on a video I did about Borderlines Lying and  manipulation whether it is on purpose, calcuulated or not - it is what it is, this  person who left a semi=hostile but Codependent denying comment thought that it should be possible for partners, Ex's or friends of someone with BPD to nurture them and aid them as they stressed this MUST be possible. No, it really isn't. This person's Codependent denial "take-away" they ascribe to my video is evidence of their own denial and twisting of what I said because they don't want to or aren't ready to realize the reality that one needs to find outside of a tantasy bond with a Borderline, You need to take care of yourself, not continue to think or believe or fantasize about nurturing and aiding - rescuing, changing, or fixing a person with BPD while you are being traumatized and keep losing more and more of yourself and getting more confused about why "love"  hurts so much. https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
    33m 45s
  • BPD Quiet Discouraged Subtype Specific Traits and Shocking Discards

    21 MAR. 2024 · BPD Quiet Discouraged Subtype Specific Traits and Shocking Discards The quiet Borderline subtype known and described as the Discouraged Borderline. A look at this presentation and manifestation of Borderline Personality Disorder. The specific Quiet BPD subtype traits are discussed as well as the reasons why a Discouraged Borderline's shocking discard is one of the most painful relationship endings. Cold discards by the Quiet Borderline that are not your fault. https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
    54m 4s
  • Salacious BPD Women Are Not Dreams They are Relationship Nightmares

    19 MAR. 2024 · Salacious BPD Women Are Not Dreams But Relationship Nightmares Every person with Borderline Personality, their lives matter and are worth living. But in response to an objectified erroneous and pathological veneration of Borderline Women that goes way too far via his perspective as a malignant narcissist. Some of his video "Borderline's Life is Worth Living Technicolor Adventure" is in some aspects very dark and not only misses the mark in places but objectives the "Borderline Woman" as he seems to covet the emotionality of people with BPD but misrepresents it for his own duper's delight and Narcissistic supply. I want to present an alternative voice and remind you that if you are not, like said Youtuber is, a malignant narcissist or a Narcissist, as a Codependent, believing his wayward message will be very harmful, dark and dangerous for you. Salacious Borderline Women are not "dreams" they are unfortunately relationship nightmares. You need to get off the BPD rollercoaster trauma bond that you are losing or have lost yourself on. https://ajmahari.ca/sessions 
    1h 40s
  • BPD Breakup Obsession & Codependent Excuses Waiting to Be Rescued by Who?

    10 MAR. 2024 · BPD Breakup Obsession & Codependent Excuses Waiting to Be Rescued By Who? Please note: At two points in this (passionate) episode I mention being very fed up with many of the  excuses like the commenter I respond to in this episode. I am referring to being fed up with people on social media, denying their Codependency and making excuses - I am very patient and not ever fed up at all with working with any singal client. In the video I was able to add this on screen but thought it best to add in the description here. BPD Breakup Obsession and seemingly endless Codependent (Ex of BPD or on/off) excuses waiting (perhaps unconsciously in many cases) to be rescued and by someone - who? The Borderline can't rescue you. If you believe, like the commenter I respond to here, in God, you may like this commenter be waiting for God to rescue you. God is not going to rescue anyone either. If you don't believe in God, or practice any faith or religion than please apply this to your own spiritual context and/or beliefs. The message that is most important is that you need to take personal responsibility to end the betrayal bonded relationship and take action to get into therapy and your own healing and recovery process. Heal and recover from the BPD or NPD Relationship breakup and Codependency,, truly find yourself. The first step, is just take action to start working with someone.  https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
    37m 57s
  • Borderlines Can’t Find Love Or Love You From Your Perspective

    10 MAR. 2024 · Borderlines Can’t Find Love Or Love You From Your Perspective - Borderlines Don't Take Your Identity or Self or Mental Image and then find love from that perspective Borderlines can't find love or feel love for you from your perspective, or mental image or somehow by "taking" your identity or self from you to see your perspective at all. Too many people with Codependency believe this because you really want to believe who you thought the person with BPD was who seemed to love you would really be findable again so you would be being loved and seen and heard. This is just not how people with BPD are or how they "relate" to significant others. They really do not know how to love you because they don't know themselves. https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
    21m 25s
  • Petulant BPD Rage Uses You and The Why Insight of a Recovered Borderline

    3 MAR. 2024 · Petulant BPD Rage Uses You and The Why Insight of a Recovered Borderline Petulant Borderlines use you when they rage at you. A borderline rage does make them feel better at your expense. They are often not aware of what is happening for your or how you are affected by them. Self-awareness deficits in untreated BPD mean that Borderlines are too engulfed and absorbed with their own dysregulated feelings to even be aware of how they are using you - this does not excuse what they are actually doing to you. How you are not seen or heard by them. Often after a Petulant BPD rage the person with BPD feels much better while you are left reeling. They are ready to carry on, and you are shell-shocked. They don't have a frame of reference from their rage to hear how hurt and/or devastated you are. BPD Rage episodes are not ever resolved in relationships. https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
    40m 17s
  • Borderline Splitting Cycles Mixed With Codependent Denial

    12 FEB. 2024 · Borderline Splitting Cycles Mixed With Codependent Denial Borderline splitting cycles mixed with Codependent denial fuel the betrayal bonded dynamics of cognitive dissoncance, falsely believing and defending that a BPD partner or BPD Ex "loves" you. Denial of one's own Codependency is often a conscious and unconscious driver of people continuing to pursue the fantasy of BPD Relationship "love". Untreated people with Borderline Personality Disorder can't and don't love you. Can you relate to believing a person with BPD "loves" you and continue to be fooled by (and fool yourself) that Borderline inconsistency, incongruence, and lack of words and actions having any unity with each other still somehow means, against all odds, that the person you love with BPD, are dating, or in a relationship with who has BPD really "loves" you? This is how people with Codependency continue to lose more and more of "self" to the splitting cycles of people with BPD who have no "self" from which to love you. They are seeking identity through you. The person with BPD, in a way, is taking you from you to try to meet their own needs in "object other" unhealthy "relating" that just isn't healthy love at all. https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
    34m 48s
  • Recontacting Your BPD Ex Increases Your Suffering

    11 FEB. 2024 · Recontacting Your BPD Ex (Reverse Hoovering) Increases Your Suffering Recontacting your BPD Ex is reverse hoovering and it increases Codependents suffering. Many people with Codependency are still in denial of the reverse hoovering responsibility that they have. No matter how the relationship "ended" or if it is on/off and/or being recycle, recontacting a borderline or still in communication increases the suffering of people with Codependency who have their own responsibility to not continue their part of the betrayal bonded relationship. You need to get into therapy to work toward going no contact so that you can heal. https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
    41m 29s
  • Borderlines Don't Value You in Dating or Relationships

    8 FEB. 2024 · Borderlines Don't Value You in Dating or Relationships Borderlines don't value you in dating or relationships because they are insatiable and have failed at "othering". People with BPD are very (lack of) self-focused and emotionally only aware of their feelings, wants that they mix up with needs. Borderlines don't value you because emotionally they are actually not relating to you, for who you really are. https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
    29m 52s

A.J. Mahari is a Counselor and Trauma Recovery Coach who has 34 years experience working with those surviving Borderline Personality Relationship Breakups in all relationship types, healing from codependency, Inner...

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A.J. Mahari is a Counselor and Trauma Recovery Coach who has 34 years experience working with those surviving Borderline Personality Relationship Breakups in all relationship types, healing from codependency, Inner Child Healing, Family of Origin and Self Differentiation, Narcissistic Abuse Recovery and much more.
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