As someone in the home creation business I occasionally get asked my perspective on homelessness. In fact a couple of friends asked just this week. What I said in response kind of surprised them, I think, but having worked with the homeless for many years it’s what Tina and I have found to be true. (And no, what I’m about to share with you is not political. You know me better than that.)

I told them the reason no one has come up with the one great idea that solves homelessness forever is that it’s such a very complex problem. As complex as each of the human lives it touches. And at the heart of that problem is a truth that I wish more of us were discussing. That truth is: homeless is not houseless.

To be homeless is not about not having a house. It’s about not having a home. A house is a physical structure that protects your body from the weather. A home is a relational structure that protects and nurtures a soul. Houses are buildings held together with nails and mortar. Homes are an emotional fabric woven together with the strands of relationships. Which means homes are much more important than houses.

“For instance,” I said, “you guys would never be homeless. Even if a fire or flood or some financial disaster befell you and you found yourself without a house or two pennies to rub together, you would never be homeless. Why? Because home is relationships, and you have a strong fabric of relationships that you’ve cared for and nurtured and woven over time. It’s that fabric of relationships that will shade you from the harsh heat of life. It’s that fabric of relationships that will wrap around you and keep you warm when the world turns cold. It’s that fabric of relationships that is a safety net beneath you to catch you when you fall. No man or woman will ever be truly homeless who has friends.” Home is the fabric of our relationships. Homeless is the unraveling of those relationships. A person is truly homeless only when there’s no one left to call, no sofa left to crash on, no friend left to help.

So why do I bring this up? Because there’s a deeper lesson here for all of us … We need each other.

No one gets through this life on their own. Tough times come to us all. As they say, the rain falls on the just and the unjust. So I ask you, what exactly is the best thing for us to be busy building to protect us from life’s storms? Wealth? Houses? Those are fine, but if our definition of true homelessness is accurate then the homeless crisis in America is much much larger than just those we see out on the street. A lot of homeless people, perhaps most homeless people, have a job and plenty of money and a place to live. What they don’t have is home. People. Family. True friends.

So just an encouragement today to check the fabric of your relationships and, if needed, get busy mending your nets. And if you find you need better friends then be a better friend. Gandhi was right. Be the change you want to see. Be a friend and you will have friends. And strand by strand those relationships will build a home that will be there when you need it. Money can build a beautiful house. But nurturing friendship—deep, true friendship—that is how you build yourself a beautiful life.