What to Do if Your Young One Goes Missing - And How to Ensure They Don’t

Welcome to episode 16 of the Safe Living Today Show. This is your host Stephen Carter, former Chief of Police and Corporate Security Director for one of the world’s largest financial services company.

The purpose of this podcast is to share with you the tools, tips, and methods for you and your loved ones to stay safe in your home, online, and when you’re out and about in the world.

This episode is about keeping children and teens safe and what to do if a young one goes missing.

“Time Magazine” reported the the body of a 16-year-old girl from Alexandria, Virginia was discovered 2-weeks after she walked out of her home after receiving a text message from an unknown person.

Later that evening, Jholie Moussa sent a text message to her twin sister she was attending a party in Norfolk, Virginia, which is 200 miles away. There is no evidence that she in fact attended a party in Norfolk. Her body was found in a park close to her home.

Because runaway cases are so common, police originally believed Jholie wasn’t in imminent danger. Why? Because she left home on her own accord.

This sad case points to the risk children and teens face when they act impulsively, trust the wrong person, or choose to run-a-way from home.

How many young people go missing? There’s no firm number, but depending on the various sources who track this information reported disappearances run between 400,000 to 800,000 a year. Each one of these missing children is a living, breathing, human being who deserves to be reunited with his or her’s family.

Let’s look at two parts of the problem.

What steps can parents, grandparents, and other family members take to help ensure a young person doesn’t put herself or himself in a dangerous position?

First, talk to young people about the risks they face online. Predators are working social media sites 24 X 7. They usually assume false identities and gain the trust of adolescents - male and female - with the intent of separating the young person from their family.

Through smooth online and later phone or video conversations, the young person is lured into meeting the predator. Once that happens, that young person may be given drugs, encouraged to engage in sex, and - in many cases - outright kidnapped.

That young person may taken to another city and forced into prostitution. In virtually every case, the victim is told if they try to contact their parents, the parents will be murdered. After a few weeks or months, that young person may be murdered if they’re not “producing” for the human traffickers.

Second, monitor your child’s activity online. This can prove challenging if they’re using SnapChat or some of the other applications where messages disappear after a short period.

Check to see if these types of applications are on your child’s phone. Consider using parental controls for ‘tweens and young teens to ensure you know what applications they’re using and what they’re doing online.

Third, know who your child is spending time with in the physical world. Are they going to the mall? Who will they be with? Drive them to and from the mall and other destinations. Talk to your child about their friends and what kinds of conversations occur with their friends.

Engage with your kids daily in a loving, caring way. Listen, learn, and guide. In some rare cases, you may have to take action to protect your child he or she won’t like. Do it anyway.
Be a parent, not a friend. Be kind and open, but remember your child needs loving guidance, not unfettered freedom to engage in dangerous activity that can get them in serious trouble or even killed.

You’ll find a great resource for facts and conversation starters by going to http://GirlsHealth.gov and selecting the “Relationship” tap. I’ll have this site linked up in the show notes of this episode at our http://SafeLivingToday.com site.

The information at the http://GirlsHealth.gov site is valuable for young females and males. Boys face the same risks as girls, including sexual abuse and kidnapping.

Let’s turn our attention to the second major part of the problem.

What do you do if a child goes missing to increase the probability that the child will be found safe and sound.

The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children is a non-profit organization focused on helping find missing children, reduce child sexual exploitation, and prevent child victimization.

They offer guidance on what actions to take immediately. I’ve also added to their list. Actions include:

• Immediately call your local law enforcement agency.

• When you call the law enforcement agency, report all of the details including:

• Your child’s full name, date of birth, height, weight, color of hair and eyes.

• Description of last known clothing worn, any scars or unusual marks, description of glasses if your child wears them, any needed medication, medical conditions, and type of braces if worn.

• When your child went missing, list of friends with phone numbers if known, details about any previous disappearances, details about any recent family arguments, and any other information that is relevant to the child’s disappearance.

• Provide one or more recent photographs. If your child was fingerprinted through one of the child protection programs, provide those prints to law enforcement officials.

• Ask the law enforcement agency to enter your child’s information into what’s called NCIC. The agency will know what the national database is.

The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children also offers guidance as to what to search in and around your home or location where the child went missing, how to handle a missing child situation in a store, and other vital guidance.

Go to their website at http://www.MissingKids.com, that’s www.MissingKids.com.

I’ll have this and other resources linked up on the show notes for this episode at http://www.SafeLivingToday.com.

In summary,

• Young people are at risk for predators on the Internet and in the physical world.

• Talk with your kids frequently about those risks, monitor their online activities, and know who they’re spending time with. Be loving and kind, but be firm.

• Be a parent, not a buddy. They need boundaries. When you provide those boundaries, they know you care and you love them.

• Bad things can happen to good people including your child. Do all you can to keep your loved ones safe.

• If your child goes missing, call law enforcement immediately. Have all of the items listed earlier available to give to law enforcement.

• Know what to do if your child goes missing in a store or other location. Visit the website at http://www.MissingKids.com for downloadable guides to keep handy and other important, potentially life saving information.

There is a lot of information in this podcast, too much to remember. Please visit our Safe Living Today website to get show notes about everything we’ve covered and the links to the resources mentioned during the show.

You can also subscribe to the show so you’ll never miss a potentially life saving episode. Visit us at http://www.SafeLivingToday.com.

Until our next show, this is your host Stephen Carter asking you to stay safe, stay well, and stay blessed.