On today's episode of #coffeewithatherapist, we talk all about how people-pleasing and people-pleasers are not actually being giving (as they think they are) but are pleasing and giving from a place of self-need. Many people-pleasers try to please others because they are needing validation, kudos, or reassurance themselves and not from a "my cup runneth over" place. Today we talk about shifting that mindset and help people-pleasers understand what they need to do to change their "selfish" behaviors and learn to give themselves validation so they can truly be kind and giving to others from a genuine place. As a recovering people-pleaser, I have A LOT of empathy for the people-pleasing struggle. Working on these issues with a therapist that understands "sense of self" and trauma-work is highly recommended as many of us learn to people-please as a response to the role we played in our families or survival in some sort of social situation from the past (or simply by not learning how to do it differently). Happy Friday y'all - enjoy your weekend.

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Grateful to connect and have coffee with y'all,

Jenny Xo