15 MAY. 2024 · "The only time you can do grief wrong is when you judge yourself for grieving." Note: this episode about grief is heavy and it is long. If you are not in a space to address your grief, maybe save this one for later. Shout out to https://www.driftwood-healing.com/team for joining us in this personal conversation all about grief. This episode opens with a gorgeous poem by https://www.instagram.com/adalimonwriter/?hl=en - from her book https://milkweed.org/book/bright-dead-things - https://waxwingmag.org/items/25.php https://waxwingmag.org/items/25.phpHillary, Phil, and Jenny have all had different dealings with grief over the years. We’ve all lost and all responded differently. How can we learn from one another and from remaining open about our grief? What might help us collectively and individually in the midst of deep grief? Does our Enneagram number play into how we might handle our grief? Join us as we delve into what makes us human, our capacity for deep love and deep grief.  Grief Resources (Things we mentioned, or meant to anyways): - https://katebowler.com/books/everything-happens-for-a-reason-and-other-lies-ive-loved/ - https://www.amazon.com/Myth-Closure-Ambiguous-Pandemic-Change/dp/1324016817 - https://www.amazon.com/How-We-Live-Die/dp/161180924X & https://www.amazon.com/When-Things-Fall-Apart-Difficult/dp/1611803438  by: Pema Chodron  - https://www.amazon.com/Crying-Mart-Memoir-Michelle-Zauner/dp/0525657746 by: Michelle Zauner  - https://www.bookpeople.com/book/9781324016816 by Elizabeth Kubler Ross and David Kessler - https://www.amazon.com/Breathing-Under-Water-Spirituality-Twelve/dp/1616361573r by: Richard Rohr -   https://www.imdb.com/title/tt12451520/ - https://suzannestabile.com/mp3s/grieving by: https://www.instagram.com/suzannestabile/?hl=en Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Welcoming Guest 01:50 Ada Lamone Poem 04:09 Resistance to Talking About Grief 07:47 Unresolved Grief and Funeral Experiences 09:30 Different Coping Strategies for Grief 21:07 Grief as an Antidote to Trauma 26:41 Differentiating Trauma and Grief 32:08 Engaging with Feelings in Grief 36:36 The Importance of Relational Buffering 38:26 Individual Approaches to Healthful Grieving 40:23 The Need for Supportive Relationships in Grief 43:04 Different Approaches to Grief: Thinking, Feeling, and Doing 45:27 The Power of Human Connection in the Healing Process 47:13 Finding Your Own Path to Healing 50:40 The Role of Spiritual Direction and Therapy in Grief 52:28 Creating Space for Grief in Society and Faith Communities 56:07 Addressing Barriers to Grief Support 01:00:38 Embracing Grief as a Part of Human Experience 01:03:14 The Practice of Mindfulness in Grief 01:05:42 Weird and Unique Ways of Processing Grief 01:10:41 Closing Thoughts on Grief and the Importance of Connection

8 MAY. 2024 · We’re back with Jessica Brazzeal of https://www.thehavenwellnesscenter.com/ for her third visit! We heard from so many of you after our episode on purity culture we knew had to expand the conversation! If you missed our previous episode on purity culture start https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/radical-sacred/id1722132249 We discuss how purity culture affected us individually and collectively, the orgasm gap that exists in the evangelical world, resources and more. We also dive into the etymology of the word pastor. What is at the root of the word and how we can tell the difference between someone whose words and behaviors are actually pastoral versus a bully with a pulpit.  We expand more on Josh Howerton (of https://lakepointe.church/start-here/ in Rockwall, TX) and male pastors like him who use fear, shame, and blame to control. If you’ve been affected by purity culture and want to connect, find us on Ihttps://www.instagram.com/radicalsacred/.  Resources - https://sexwithemily.com/ - https://www.ericasmitheac.com/ - https://www.amazon.com/Come-You-Are-Surprising-Transform/dp/1476762090 by: Emily Nagoski - Esther perel - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/where-should-we-begin-with-esther-perel/id1237931798 - https://drlauraeanderson.com/ 00:00 Introduction 00:43 The Impact of Purity Culture 04:00 Personal Experiences with Purity Culture 09:47 The Role of Pastors in Purity Culture 12:31 The Etymology of 'Pastor' 16:08 Platforming Abusive Leaders 21:09 Patriarchal Norms in Religion 24:01 Challenging Patriarchal Structures 24:32 Creating Safe Spaces for Conversations 31:47 Shifting from Judgment to Curiosity 39:31 The Power of Authentic Friendships

1 MAY. 2024 · In this week's episode Jenny and Phil are joined by Hillary Owen to discuss attachment theory and attachment styles. Hillary, a licensed mental health professional, shares her expertise on the topic and explains the four attachment styles: secure, disorganized, anxious, and avoidant. They also explore the concept of attachment-focused EMDR therapy and how it can help individuals heal from attachment wounds.  In this conversation, Hillary Owen discusses the importance of understanding attachment styles and how they impact our relationships and parenting. She emphasizes the need for self-awareness and self-compassion in order to create healthier and more secure connections. Hillary also explores the intersection of attachment theory and spirituality, highlighting the sacredness of doing inner work and showing up for ourselves. She provides practical steps for individuals to begin their own attachment journey, including reading about attachment styles and practicing mindfulness. Hillary concludes by sharing where she is finding inspiration and, of course, her favorite bird. The conversation around imagination and the brain will likely blow your mind (pun intended). Let us know who your safe character/person is. Find out more about Hillary and her work at https://www.driftwood-healing.com/. Resources: - https://www.amazon.com/Attached-Science-Adult-Attachment-YouFind/dp/1585429139/ref=sr_1_1?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.W2Hu0CFeu4eu-473CFxL4rZ_nhhNWQAQeC4z8sU4cFZ78g10b0Cq19t0hUkW4CDamYd8Th0uJq4BUWMxcm4641uNzHZ87UhH-f2C82AH2GCWaPokduKp7UK4TfU2u5KBleQLQUqYNVKIsrzXXmNXiUYcxSSVicR6G7CAxzS-KP_Osa261KgoNRpzJjI-m2uMFGB786qMWyWRrlAc5lq_yCZIr9Z58wjp0xMICwrUlbI.UindOwq8Sw_oJzGjzCFSZBIj8bsOMKqX3Kexby8FFLM&dib_tag=se&hvadid=174268218624&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9026915&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=13910704856243391906&hvtargid=kwd-200657275946&hydadcr=22537_9636736&keywords=attached+by+levine&qid=1714495906&sr=8-1 by Amir Levine. - Life Kit Quiz "https://www.npr.org/2022/02/09/1079587715/whats-your-attachment-style-quiz?" 00:00 Introduction and Background 09:06 Introduction to Attachment Theory and Attachment Styles 25:00 Attachment-Focused EMDR Therapy 31:27 Imagination and Healing 47:38 Practical Steps for Embarking on an Attachment Journey 59:12 The Power of Human Connection and Storytelling

24 ABR. 2024 · In this episode of Radical Sacred, Jenny and Phil are joined by Jenny Bates a United Methodist in North Texas who is finishing up graduate school at Brite Divinity and recently was approved for Commissioning as a clergyperson in the North Texas Conference of the United Methodist Church. They discuss how Jenny used the Radical Sacred episode on the Sacred Masculine as a resource for a pub theology she hosted, queer theology, and the United Methodist Church General Conference that officially started yesterday. Throughout the episode, Jenny emphasizes the need for inclusivity and the importance of holding space for different perspectives and experiences in the United Methodist Church and beyond. She shares her journey of exploring her own gender identity and the support she receives from her chosen queer family. In the episode she states, "Queer theology showed me that I do have sacred roots," what has helped you identify your sacred roots? Resources Mentioned in the Episode: - Our previous episode on https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/radical-sacred/id1722132249?i=1000647380614 - https://www.amazon.com/Queering-Wesley-Church-Keegan-Osinski/dp/1725254042 by Keegan Orsinski - The Rhttps://www.umcjustice.org/documents/124 of the United Methodist Church - The https://www.resourceumc.org/en/content/supplemental-adca-now-available-online for the UMC General Conference Also, if you are a United Methodist looking to follow what is happening at General Conference follow these accounts: - https://www.umqcc.org/ - https://twitter.com/mariadixon?lang=en - https://www.threads.net/@umjeremy - https://twitter.com/scottatnip Chapters: 00:00 Introduction Jenny Bates and her use of Pub Theology 07:55 Positive Masculinity and Biblical Examples 34:00 Exploring Sacredness through Queer Theology 51:58 Jenny's Journey of Gender Exploration 59:09 The Importance of Community in the Journey

17 ABR. 2024 · In this week's episode Phil and Jenny are joined by Marcus Jones, Director of the Wesley Foundation at the University of Texas at Arlington. After referencing this concept in many episodes, Phil and Jenny invited Marcus to discuss this idea of Transcend and Include. They reflect on their own spiritual journeys and the various faith traditions they have been a part of, while also emphasizing the importance of deep spirituality and spiritual disciplines in their lives. Marcus shares how he incorporates grace into his growth process and how he engages in conversational scripture reading to challenge and dismantle preconceived notions. They also discuss the future of the church and the need for lay-driven ministry.  References from this episode: - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sankofa - Ihttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Integral_theory_(Ken_Wilber)#:~:text=Integral%20theory%20aims%20to%20be,from%20the%20broader%20academic%20community. by Ken Wilber - https://www.amazon.com/Dancing-Darkness-Spiritual-Thriving-Turbulent/dp/1501177699 by Otis Moss III - https://www.amazon.com/Black-Liturgies-Prayers-Meditations-Staying/dp/0593593642/ref=sr_1_1?crid=11U43T00GIQYH&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.QlbRT97MmJqNhz5lpS1KbhkF9nwb03ZrYsJTQbIDAvtiuQ56tPnrl-x_7Q1f1VjqMYOGosDHVQIv72b9VaDIgBW-e0rI4mvYRb6_5_Ul8qUlWFQYI_k4SdI4sdP_FieAQriuDTItBNYMpUmH7F2dOcGW103rWCD3eNrqbo8QkClgi3_75M4xaZQhW0yMabTXnM-1kx7RiDQEqrj2EwrusZjLN_5iYKljzFK9nD2oWVs.18y5atuE07R8t2qFop0nUyc4q9Ln6Up_ru6O5LGMAKI&dib_tag=se&keywords=black+liturgies&qid=1713307079&s=books&sprefix=black+liturgies%2Cstripbooks%2C89&sr=1-1 by Cole Arthur Riley - Hope is Here!: Spiritual Practices for Pursuing Justice and Beloved Community by Luther E. Smith You can find Marcus: - Marcu's blog https://informedscholar.com/ - on social @marcus.m.jones Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Background 00:27 Transcendent Include 04:24 Faith Background and Spiritual Formation 06:37 Youth Ministry and Sneakers as a Ministry 09:21 Transition to United Methodist Church 10:20 Progressive Theological Development 12:03 Themes of Social Justice and Missionary Baptist Background 12:25 Moving from Conservative Theology to Liberal, Progressive, and Centered 15:40 Clothing Ideas and Concepts in Grace 17:46 Learning from the Past and Mentors 20:00 Purity Culture and Guilt 20:27 Moving Past Shame 20:45 Prayer and Spiritual Disciplines 25:39 Reading Scripture Formationally 30:57 The Future of the Church 33:16 Expanding Worldview 36:32 Eliminating Poverty

10 ABR. 2024 · What do a pastor, a spiritual director, and a tattoo artist have in common? On the surface, perhaps not a ton. And yet, as we explore the topic of Tattooing and Presence we realize that when done well- pastors, spiritual directors, and tattoo artists all give their presence to people  in order to create a deeper connection between each other and self. At their best, all should be people that create spaces that are safe and healing.  In this episode Phil and Jenny visit with https://www.instagram.com/stephanieadelinatattoos/?hl=en, the founder of https://www.instagram.com/pegasustattoostudios/?hl=en (a Queer tattoo collective) located in Elmwood, in Dallas TX.  This conversation discusses tattooing as an art form. Including: - Stephanie's ability to provide a safe space for all the people while also creating gorgeous artwork on their bodies. - Tattooing as a somatic and healing practice and Pegasus' hope for the future. - Living creatively and authentically. - Forging your own path when the industry you're in isn't all that it could be. - Pegasus' connection to https://www.dallasisd.org/bookert, the performing arts school in Dallas. - Stephanie shares about being an https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-7/ If you are interested in a meaningful tattoo experience that is rooted in connection and care contact the good folks at https://www.instagram.com/pegasustattoostudios/?hl=en For more resources on tattooing check out: - https://www.yesmagazine.org/opinion/2023/06/01/for-the-colonized-body-tattoos-are-reclamation by Gabbes Torres - https://www.dallasobserver.com/arts/theres-a-new-tattoo-shop-in-oak-cliff-run-by-a-feminist-collective-11858163 about Pegasus  Have you gotten a tattoo that helped you connect back to your own sacred roots? We'd love to hear about it! Connect with us on https://www.instagram.com/radicalsacred/. 

3 ABR. 2024 · In this week's episode Jenny and Phil welcome Jessica Brazeal back to the podcast as the first time repeat guest. Jessica joins the conversation to discuss a sermon that recently went viral from a megachurch pastor in Rockwall, TX. Jenny, being from Rockwall, was deeply frustrated by the misogynistic words of this sermon and immediately emailed Phil and Jessica to set up a time to discuss.  In the episode they discuss what purity culture is, how it impacted their adolescence, how it continues to harm people today, and so often results in abusive situations. They talk about purity culture from the perspective of being parents, but also parents who are healing from the harms of this movement, and their hopes for a better approach to a healthy sexuality for the next generation. As said in the episode, "Healthy conversations about sexuality should be free from shame and fear." Be aware this conversation does discuss sexual situations and talks of abuse. Jessica reference's Nadia Bolz-Weber's book https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/247945/shameless-by-nadia-bolz-weber/  Chapters00:00 - (Re)Introducing Jessica Brazeal 01:02- Reacting to a Harmful Sermon 03:40 - The Destructive Nature of Purity Culture 08:20 - The Objectification of Women in Purity Culture 09:28 - The Link Between Purity Culture and Abuse 11:42 - Explaining Purity Culture 14:38 - The Need for Healthy Conversations 16:14 - Navigating Sexuality as Parents 21:46 - The Isolating and Ostracizing Nature of Purity Culture 22:22 - The Long-lasting Impact of Shame and Trauma 23:18 - Power Dynamics and Control in Purity Culture 24:07 - The Importance of Consent and Agency 24:38 - Therapy as a Path to Healing 26:53 - Promoting Healthy Conversations about Sexuality

27 MAR. 2024 · On our third and final Enneagram episode Phil and Jenny chat all about the Dependent Stance. 1s (The Perfectionist), 2s (The Helper), and 6s (The Skeptics/Loyalist) make up this present oriented stance. The Dependent Stance moves towards others (people, institutions, religious ideals etc.) to know what to do, how to feel, and how to move in the world.  Those in the Dependent Stance are community builders. They walk into the room and they see all the people and they know what to do to help them. They are genuinely the peoplle that make the world go round. Interpersonal relationships matter a lot to the Dependent Stance and if you are in a relationship with one of these folks then it really matters to help them facilitate a healthy relationship with self. Thinking is the center of intelligence that dropped out in childhood for this stance and their work will revolve around learning to honor their own thoughts and ideas.  As we wrap up our Enneagram episodes, consider what you can learn from each stance we’ve covered?  - The Dependent Stance is the only stance that is inherently present in the current moment. What does this look like in real time for them? - For those in the Dependent Stance, how might you come to more enjoy your own company? - How would you spend a day all to yourself, just for your own enjoyment? - Caring for self can look like a lot of different things. What does it look like to provide yourself real and lasting self care for folks in this stance? - How can we who love those in the Dependent Stance bring up their repressed center? We’re available to teach the Enneagram to your church, non profit, etc! Email us at mailto:radicalsacredpod@gmail.com for more information.  Chapters00:00 Introduction to the Enneagram Dependent Stance 01:26 Understanding Type One: The Perfectionist 05:02 Stress and Security Movements for Type One 06:16 Self-Compassion and Kindness for Type One 09:37 Understanding Type Two: The Helper 20:11 Self-Avoidance and Boundaries for Type Two 21:10 Stress and Security Movements for Type Two 23:37 Recognizing and Meeting the Needs of Type Two 25:00 Self-Care and Individuality for Type Two 26:36 The Pressure on Southern Women 28:08 Misidentification of Twos and Sixes 29:44 Understanding Type Six: The Loyalist 30:11 Conflicted Thinking of Sixes 32:14 The Doomsdayers - Preparedness of Sixes 33:10 Loyalty and Community Orientation of Sixes 35:17 Self-Care and Loyalty to Oneself 40:29 Phobic and Counterphobic Sixes 42:47 The Healing Message for Sixes 45:19 The Importance of Self-Care for Sixes 46:05 The Work for a More Compassionate World

20 MAR. 2024 · In week two of their three part enneagram series, Jenny and Phil cover numbers in The Aggressive Stance. Comprised of 8s (gut triad), 7s (head triad), and 3s (heart triad) this stance is future oriented.  If 4s, 5s, and 9s are the philosophers of the Enneagram, 8s, 7s, and 3s are the architects. These numbers are self motivating and self propelled. They dream and vision cast and invite others to do the same. Phil and Jenny cover the gifts and challenges associated with this stance, including how gender plays out in the ways aggressively stanced men and women are treated very differently in the world.  We’d love to hear from you! If you’re an aggressive stance number, how does that play into how you move through the world? - What does it feel like to try to bring up feelings? - If you spent time observing yourself last week, what came up for you? - Why is it important to learn to sink into the present moment as those who are typically future oriented? - How might you try to engage with your repressed center?  Having trouble identifying your number? Sit down with a trusted friend or family member and ask them to name a few of your best qualities. Then ask them to name a few of the areas they see you struggling in. What do these observations bring up for you?  Jenny and Phil mention the following (or meant to mention the following, anyways):  -https://www.consciousenneagram.com/ - Abi Robins https://www.consciousenneagram.com/-https://www.chichiagorom.com/book https://www.chichiagorom.com/book-For Funsies: https://www.instagram.com/rudeassenneagram/?hl=en https://www.instagram.com/rudeassenneagram/?hl=en-Sleeping at Last: https://www.sleepingatlast.com/ Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to the Aggressive Stance 03:18 Introduction to Eights - The Challenger 08:21Gender Differences and Unfair Treatment 09:59 Overcoming Stereotypes and Embracing Strength 12:35 Contemplative Practices for Aggressive Numbers 15:26 Healing Message for Eights: You Are Enough 15:57 Introduction to Sevens: The Enthusiast 16:17 Characteristics of Sevens 23:21 The Fun and Dark Sides of Sevens 26:04 Healing Message for Sevens: You Are Enough 29:57 Introduction to Threes - The Achiever 30:39 Defining Success for Threes 35:26The Dallas Vibe and Threes 37:41 Recognizing the Value of Aggressive Numbers 38:53 Encouraging and Supporting Aggressive Numbers 46:29 Becoming a Fuller Version of Ourselves 47:39The Purpose of the Enneagram and Radical Sacred

13 MAR. 2024 · In this episode Jenny and Phil dive into The Enneagram! They talk about the three centers of intelligence and the importance that head, heart, and gut have in determining how we take in information and interpret the world. Phil and Jenny share all about the Withdrawing stance. 4s (Jenny), 5s, and 9s (Phil) withdraw into themselves in order to know what to do. Withdrawing numbers are past oriented, meaning we sometimes struggle to do/say things in real time. They also talk about the gifts and struggles of 4s, 5s, and 9s and the way that learning a system like The Enneagram helps people have more grace and space for ourselves and for the world around us. When we realize that we all have different motivations, desires, struggles, and ways of being it opens the door to connection and grace instead of judgment. And who doesn’t need more connection and grace?  If you’re new to The Enneagram and trying to figure out your number: - Gently observe yourself this week. As you’re going about your business, notice how you respond to stress and the unexpected. When life gets a little wild is your first response to think, to feel, or to do? - As you narrow down your first response you will also arrive at whether you are in the head, the heart, or the gut triad. Once you arrive at your triad, consider your orientation to time. Are you always dreaming up what could be in the future? Are you fully aware of the present moment? Or are you consumed with the past? Notice where you spend a lot of your time mentally. - Next week we’ll dive into The Aggressive Stance, which encompasses 3s, 7s, and 8s. We’ll also have more helpful tips on figuring out your number.  We mentioned the following this week:  - https://www.lifeinthetrinityministry.com/ - Richard Rohr’s https://store.cac.org/collections/books/products/the-enneagram-a-christian-perspective - https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/ Chapters00:00 Introduction of the Enneagram Series 07:10 Centers of Intelligence 10:39 Withdrawing Stance and Orientation to Time 13:45 Enneagram Type 9: The Peacemaker 22:03 The Gifts and Challenges of Being a Type 9 39:08 The Dynamic Nature of the Enneagram 42:36 The Gifts and Challenges of Being a Type 4  51:37 The Difference Between Fours and Nines 53:25 The Gifts and Challenges of Being a Type 5  58:36 Resources for Learning More About the Enneagram 01:11:31 The Importance of Being Gracious and Compassionate